


End me. Do it.

by Vodka_martini



Category: Undertale
Genre: One Shot, Reader Is Not Frisk, trigger warning: suicide mentions and depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 09:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6560206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vodka_martini/pseuds/Vodka_martini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life hated you. Enough said. Life dicked you over one too many times. Each day was getting harder and harder to face. Finally, you decided you had enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	End me. Do it.

**Author's Note:**

> {Warning: mentions of suicidal behaviour  
> -Vodka_martini}

Life hated you. Enough said. Life dicked you over one too many times. Each day was getting harder and harder to face. Finally, you decided you had enough. You have been depressed for years now. The meds helped to a certain degree. Your therapist helped to a certain degree. Your friends helped greatly. But ultimately, you were alone. Alone in the never ending void of despair, loneliness and pain to the point of numbness and feeling nothing at all.

You wanted to die. You decided to die. You made plans to take your own life and have been step by step, plotting out the actions you were going to take, leading up to your death. The first thing you wanted to do was spend your last week with your monster friends.  
The barrier had shattered two years ago and monsters had come up to the surface and settled here with ease. Granted, there were those monster hating douchenozzles here and there but us humans have grown accustomed to them. The monsters were lovely folk. They were diverse, kind and welcoming. They gave the word monster a new meaning.

You had befriended Asgore and Toriel (The King and Queen of Monster kind), Undyne (The Ex Captain of the Royal Guard), Alphys (the Royal scientist), Papyrus (A sentry who captured humans or tried to at least), Mettaton (The Underground's celebrity), Sans (Papyrus's older brother) and even Frisk (The human ambassador of Monsters) . You were at their service when they walked into the restaurant you worked at one night and waited their table. You had taken their orders and delivered each of their dishes with many many horrible food related puns.

'Bone appetite.' You remarked to Sans as you delivered his order of a burger with extra ketchup

'Hello. Is it Brie you're looking for?' You said in a chirpy voice to Alphys as she ordered a helping of nachos and cheese.

'Penne for your thoughts?' Papyrus simultaneously groaned loudly and squealed in excitement at the pun and at the arrival of his pasta.

'Another one bites the crust.' You winked at Frisk as you slid their slice of pizza to them.

'Lettuce tell you that the salad is an excellent choice!' Toriel and Asgore could not stop shaking in mirth.

'Let's beet it!' You roared to Undyne as you observed her tough attitude.

The monsters were so taken in by your jokes. Papyrus claimed he hated your puns (but you secretly knew he loved them). Sans and Toriel were impressed by your comedic skills and Asgore, Frisk and Alphys were humored by them. The waited outside of the restaurant to catch up (or ketchup as Sans put it) with you to exchange contact details so they could get to know you better as their first impression of you made them realize that you were something special.

They had become your family. Toriel and Asgore were you mother and father figure. Frisk was the little sibling you never had. Alphys, Undyne, and Papyrus were your respective nerdy, sporty and immature best friends. Sans was... You didn't know what he was to you. He was something special. He held a close place in your heart. You had a deeper connection with him as compared to the rest of your friends in that group. You think you might be in love with him. You could never stop smiling whenever you looked back on tender memories you shared with him. You could never stop the sparks flying across you skin when he touched you (platonically, of course). And you never stopped imagining what would it feel like to have him kiss you and hold you close.

Your friends had made you feel happy. You were always laughing when you were with them. But, the moments without them were more painful. The nights where you were alone haunted you with a sort of emptiness in your heart. You had moments whereby you'd feel lonely in a crowded room with your friends by your side. You knew these moments would never last forever. You knew you'd lose these wonderful people in your life somehow. You were never good at maintaining relationships. You promised to always keep in touch. You always broke that promise. You couldn't take it any longer. You had lost your job (fuck that rich human who complained that you were rude to him when you said that the restaurant didn't offer free refills.) Your apartment was in shambles and your low salary could no longer afford to buy your anti-depressant pills. You put on a smile and pretended like nothing was wrong to your friends but the strain of having a fake smile ached.  
To make the most of your last week living on earth, you allocated your days to each one of your friends.

Monday: You decided to introduce Alphys to attack on titans and went on a marathon.

Tuesday: You gymed with Undyne and worked out hardcore.

Wednesday: You decided to help Toriel make a seven course dinner and serve them to all your friends that evening.

Thursday: You took Asgore to the Botanical Gardens and spent your afternoon looking at different varieties of plants.

Friday: You took Frisk to a water park and had a lot of fun splashing around in the pools.

Saturday: You had brought Papyrus a couple of puzzle related games and attempted to solve them together.

Sunday: Sans. God you didn't know what to do with him. His relationship with you was so easy going you didn't know how to dedicate this last day to him. You both kinda just did whatever the hell came to mind with no planning whatsoever. You would have loved to just watch Netflix with him on your couch or probably maybe possibly even add the chill part...? But no. You opted for watching a science fiction movie with him in the afternoon (he loved science and you loved fiction it was pretty much a win-win) and going stargazing at night on the top of Mount Ebott. As he lay on the grass, awestruck by the beauty of the constellations, you looked over to him and decided that you would miss Sans the most. And that you might regret having the words "I love you, Sans" being taken with you to your grave.

Your last living day you decided to spend it by reminiscing on your past. You pulled out all of your old photo albums and looked back on the years that have past. From your birth to your current day. You saw the picture of you taking your first step. You saw the picture of you at your first grade graduation. You looked at your family photo with your parents, back when they were still alive. And you saw the photo of you kissing your first boyfriend on the cheek when you were fifteen. You saw the picture of you going off to college. You saw the picture of you graduating college. You saw the picture of you getting wasted and dancing with your girlfriends. And finally, you saw the photo of you with your monster friends. It was a photo of all of them and yourself, standing atop the grassy hill on Mount Ebott with everyone standing in a line with everyone's arms wrapped around the person next to them. Everyone wore a big smile, Sans however flashed a shit-eating grin towards the camera and had his arm wrapped around your waist and the other on Alphys's shoulder. You blushed, thinking about the way you were pulled flush against his body and sharing his warmth. You sighed. You then picked up miscellaneous items that were dear to you, such as the set of colourful bracelets your dad had bought for you when he went to Frankfurt on a business trip. You admired your Mom's jewellery. You looked at the ribbon that was part of your costume when you performed in the play of Oliver Twist when you were ten years old.

You didn't realize tears were streaming down your face in a steady wave. You brought your knees to your chest and sobbed. Looking back at the memories, you realized you didn't change your mind about taking your own life. You didn't reconsider your decision. That's what scared you. But you shook those thoughts away. There was nothing more life could offer. You would lose your friends eventually. Sans would never love you back. He would hate to see your body, littered with scars and burns from self-mutilation. You felt as if weren't pretty. You felt as if you were nothing special. You weren't passionate about anything. You simply spent your time laying in bed and contemplating death. Well, your dreams and fantasies would now become a reality.

You replied the texts from your monster friends with short sentences and vague details about visiting a friend outside of town so there would be no suspicion as to your date with death tonight. You felt relief when you found that they lapped up the lie like a dog with an open pack of kibble.

However when Sans texted you,'hey you busy tonight? Wanna grab some grub with me?' You felt your body go cold. Sans was really observant and smart. He usually figured if something was unusual and wasn't afraid to confront you or anyone about it.

You crafted your reply carefully. 'I can't. Meeting up with an old friend tonight outside town. Maybe Wednesday?'

'cool. See you then ;)' Well, fuck. A winky-face. Jesus fucking Christ he knew how to get you hot and bothered.

'Yup yup! :)' You responded with a smiley face intentionally as if nothing was wrong. As if you were happy. As if it was settled. A plan. Definite. You sighed. Waiting till midnight to execute your plan was going to be tough. You had knots in your stomach. You were afraid that you'd cop out.

But you recalled the way everyday seemed to result in disaster after disaster. You recalled the way your awkwardness set you back from enjoying things to the point where Undyne once yelled at you about being a buzzkill. Granted she did apologize the next day but her words still stung. You reminded yourself about how awkward you were. How stupid you were. How much people hated you. How much of an outsider you were in the circle of your monster friends. How uneventful your life was. How disinterested you were with everything. How you weren't skilled at particularly anything. How lonely you were. How Sans would never love you back. How he would be disgusted at the state of your body. If he ever did wanted to get intimate with you. Which was highly unlikely. Yup that did the trick. You wanted to kill yourself even more now. You were filled with DETERMINATION.

And you left a note.

'I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't live this way. I can't love this way. I don't deserve you. Any of you. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Asgore, Toriel, Alphys, Undyne, Papyrus, Frisk and Sans... I loved you. You were the only source of happiness I had. But it was never going to last. I was never going to last. I was a bad omen from the beginning. I'll spare you from this curse that's me. Goodbye.'

You were satisfied with your note and finally, the clock struck midnight. You were ready. You climbed the emergency fire stairs up to the roof of your apartment complex. You threw open the door and stepped onto the concrete. The wind was howling against you and you had to push your way against it. The wind stopped and you stood a foot away from the ledge. You took a deep breath and sighed. 'This is it. This is the end,' You thought to yourself.

You were filled with DETERMINATION once again. But before you could take the leap, you felt a presence materialize before you.  
'D O N' T Y O U D A R E T A K E  
A N O T H E R S T E P F O R W A R D,' a deep voice growled. Your eyes shot open and you found Sans standing in front of you, standing atop the ledge, inches away from you. Your breath hitched. His hands were clenched into fists and his right eye flashed Cyan and yellow whereas his left eye was pitch black. 'Sans,' you whispered in shock. Shock gave way to anger in a split second. 'What the hell are you doing here?' You demanded angrily. 'Making sure you don't kill yourself. You should thank me,' he said coldly. 'Thank you? I want to end it all. I need to die. How dare you stop me?' Sans looked at you with an expression of pure rage. "Of course I dare. I can't let you do this. I can't simply watch you take your own life this way."

You looked at him straight in the eye sockets. 'I won't let you stop me.' You said darkly, filled with DETERMINATION. Sans shrugged and flicked his wrist. You found yourself being flung across the rooftop and having your back smack against the doorway that allowed entry. You tumbled to the ground, groaning in pain. 'You want to die so badly? Well..." Sans said, a blue aura of magic surrounding him. He closed his eye sockets for a moment. When he opened them, the pinpricks of light had disappeared, leaving them pitch black. 'Y O U W O U L D  
H A V E T O G E T P A S T M E...' You placed a finger on your chin, as if considering his statement but you quickly bolted forward breaking into a sprint as you rushed for the edge of the building. Sans flicked has hand upwards and the ground rumbled as a wall of bones materialized in front of you, blocking your way but you didn't let that stop you. You predicted his attack and vaulted over the bones easily. Years worth of gymnastics proved to be worth the pain. Sans didn't let you escape that easily. He flung more bones at you which you easily dodged. But you didn't notice one of the bones flying directly towards your stomach. You stumbled backwards, gasping as the bone came into forceful contact with your stomach. Holy shit your stomach felt like it was on fire. While you cradled your bruised stomach while catching your breath, he materialized more bones till they closed on you, trapping you. You pounded your fists against the wall of bones surrounding you, screaming in frustration.

You were so determined to end your life that were prepared to do anything. You fell to your knees in despair and looked up to see a smug looking Sans. You flashed him a look of hatred. 'Fuck you Sans,' you whispered. 'FUCK YOU!' You screamed as tears ran down your face. You let out an ugly laugh as an evil plan formed in your head. 'I can't believe it. The person who has treated me like shit is the one trying to save my life.' Your words actually had a ring of truth to it.

Lately, he had actually stood you up one too many times when he found that he and you were in a public situation together, alone. He simply walked off mumbling some lame excuse which seemed to give off the impression that he was repulsed by you. But God knows how you were still in love with that skeleton. Maybe it was his startling intelligence, his perceptive nature and the mysterious aura he had about him. He may seem chill, but you knew there was more to that front he puts up. You wanted to be the one to strip him of that front and have him be truly himself around you.

'wh-what are you talking about?' He asked, sounding confused. You noticed the wall of bones around you trembling slightly. Perfect. You were going to throw slew after slew insults and hurtful statements unto the wall collapsed so you could take the leap and have it all end. For good. 'Don't play dumb with me,' you snapped at him. 'Standing me up every time we are alone together in public, as if you don't want to be seen with me, as if I'm repulsive. When I visit you at work you treat me like a fucking stranger. When we are with the others you cozy up to me like we were best friends all along. If you hate me so much then you end my life. Then you kill me. Do it. End me.'

Sans stood there, frozen in shock. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off by screaming, 'DO IT! END ME!' By this point you were crying profusely and brought your knees up to your chest. The wall of bones disappeared and your body tensed, your flight response about to be released. But what surprised was Sans kneeling in front of you, his hands cradling the sides of your face. 'Don't,' you said in a strangled tone. 'I don't hate you,' he said softly. 'I don't believe you,' you said softly. He whispered your name but you turned your head away. 'Look at me,' he commanded and you did as you were told. 'I avoided you that way because... Because I think I might just really like you. Hell, I think I love you.' Your head snapped up and you stared at him in shock. 'You drive me crazy. I didn't know what I was feeling when I was around you. I couldn't recognize what was happening to me. And I felt so awkward with you that if I did something weird I might screw up our relationship.' He sighed. 'I'm sorry I treated you that way. I didn't know how much it hurt you and affected you that way. I'm sorry. I don't hate you I promise. I love you.' You stared at Sans as you processed this information. It all fell into place. He wasn't repulsed by you. Far from it. The way he avoided you was just awkwardness. And you found it adorable. 'I love you too, Sans.' His eye sockets widened. 'really?' You nodded. His smile widened as he wrapped his arms around you and held you tight. You hesitantly wrapped you arms around him as well and found you relaxing in his embrace. You felt safe. Like you were at home. 'please, don't kill yourself. I can't lose you. You're the reason I wake up in the morning. I care about you so much. I want to help you get through this. I want to love you till this darkness goes away. I promise. I'll do anything to keep you safe alright?' He looked you deep in the eyes and swiftly pressed his teeth against your lips. You gasped at the sensation but kissed him back. His teeth nibbled at your lower lip and you sighed slightly. He pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. You stayed in his arms for the rest of the night, the temptation of suicide, gone. You were filled with hope. Hope that things will get better. And that filled you with DETERMINATION.


End file.
